who am I...

as I sat next to a man on a plane, the first meaningful interaction in my direction was, "so what do you do". This suggests to me that what I do is who I am. I immediately turn the conversation in a different direction because I do not yet know enough about him to answer. I begin my inquisition as I prepare my identity. It became very important in life that I control what you were to think of me. For me, it had always been that what you do is the key to who I am. I must become greater, for I am not good enough as I am. My cognitive awareness of this did not openly appear for some time in sobriety. I would learn that the burden of carrying around these masks and constantly changing them would become overwhelming and would eventually crush me. To this tact, I never knew who I truly was as a person much less as a spirit. In the end, from this root of pretending, I became broken and defeated. I was left with but one choice. I had to surrender or die...